Instinct

I came to the realization that I base my life on instinct. Maybe everyone does? Maybe for others its not as noticeable? For example, many times my mind tells me one thing, but my instinct tells me another. I may rationalize things and come up with one conclusion, but then my gut instinct tells me the opposite. Sometimes I wonder if I should have made different choices. I just wonder how different my life would be if I had chosen a different path. Would I be happier? I will never know, but I will always have that doubt in my mind; that "what if." I try and just live in the moment of things, be spontaneous, and not think too much about the things I do. But its hard. I want things to go in ways I never would have expected. I want things to work out. I just don't know anymore. I really don't know. Everything in my life is going by so fast. So many things are changing, and its not that I don't like change, its just that I'm scared. I force myself to do the very things I fear. I work to overcome those fears.