Brink of insanity

I haven't updated in a while. I think that may be in part because my blogspot feels so much more... official? to me than my livejournal. With my livejournal I felt like I could just write one sentence and it was a legit entry. Now I need substance and thought for my entries. hmm. I suppose nothing toooo exciting has been going on. Still just struggling to keep going. Trying to keep track of my life and not let it completely slip me by. I literally feel like I keep losing touch with reality. Like I keep forgetting what I'm doing with my life. What I'm supposed to be doing. What the point of everything is. I have concluded that I am a very very emotional person. I do extremes. I can be very depressed or very happy. I thrive on the emotional rollercoaster. I love emotions just as much as I hate them. Its not worth it to me if I don't give things my all. I like to take the risks. I like to feel both the pain and the glory.

Ugly Day

It is such an ugly day outside. All rainy and cold, I was really enjoying the sunny weather. oh well. I don't know what's wrong with me. My stomach has been hurting for the past few days, but its not that bad, it doesn't feel like the stomach flu or anything. Yet it persists... At first I thought it might have been just from stress but its not going away, and its kind of freaking me out. I also haven't been hungry like at all lately. Which is weird because I usually eat and eat and eat - or if I don't eat at least I'm hungry. I haven't really eaten for about the past four days, and that is scary. Four days without eating and I'm still not the slightest bit hungry?! Last night I got a little bit of food and figured I needed to force myself to eat something, but it just wasn't sitting well so I stopped. I don't know. I have so much work to do... and somehow I'm not really feeling stressed out about it. oh well.